


girls in the mirror are closer than they appear

by nereid



Category: The Wicked + The Divine
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-11 11:16:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20545253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nereid/pseuds/nereid
Summary: And her fingers closing over Sakhmet's wrists not delicately at all, Sakhmet pressed up against the dirty gray wall, and Laura pressed up against her in turn, what Laura asks herself is:and this is different than you, how exactly?





	girls in the mirror are closer than they appear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [clytemnestras](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clytemnestras/gifts).

> prompt - when i'm with you i feel like i'm kissing a mirror

It would be silly to pretend Laura does not know that Sakhmet has eaten someone. Mostly there's no getting past it. She can smell it on her, the blood and other leftovers of sins past. And there's other ways of knowing, because she's pretty sure sometimes, Laura is, that she can also smell a hunger on her. And sure, when the hunger gets too much, Sakhmet gets herself a snack. And her fingers closing over Sakhmet's wrists not delicately at all, Sakhmet pressed up against the dirty gray wall, and Laura pressed up against her in turn, what Laura asks herself is: _and this is different than you, how exactly?_

There's not an answer to that question that doesn't feel like a kick to the heart, the question alone feels that way, but the question comes unbidden, and the anwers don't have to.

Looking is not seeing, and Laura knows this often, but she knows this most clearly when she's looking at Sakhmet. There's plenty of opportunity to look at Sakhmet these days, once Laura's turned herself into a sort of an outcast with her only family, which is not even really that, it's easy to look at who's left standing. She could call Baph, presumably. But Baph would not do, that is the problem. When Laura looks at Baph, there is a hunger there as well, of course there is, are any of us anyone without our hungers? Baph will not do. Too gentle, perhaps, too gentle by miles. Sakhmet - Sakhmet will do, there is nothing gentle about Sakhmet. She can look at Sakhmet but she knows she does not see her, at least not in many ways that count. This is intentional, as much as anything is. A mirror is good, a mirror tells you if your eyeshadow is working and if you have lipstick on your teeth. A living, breathing mirror, that can tell someone a lot more, and Laura wants to care about her lipstick, not her soul, alright. Sakhmet is a _could have been_, a _will be_, sins of the past and a present temptation and inevitable future. Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.

Sometimes she wants to see. Every crack, every cover-up, every stitch of old wounds. She asks Sakhmet about her life before this, but Sakhmet also understands mirrors and Sakhmet does not want to speak about the past, or at least she does not want to speak with Laura about it. She wonders if she was more open with Luci, or Amaterasu perhaps. Luci could seduce anyone, and Amaterasu, she could make Laura feel at home. Laura cannot do that, and she does not try. This is not about being welcome, it is not even about feeling welcome. This is about not fashioning her broken self into a home for Sakhmet, even if it's tempting. This is about also not asking the same in turn. She could do it, probably, she would maybe even survive it for a while. Let the weight of all of Sakhmet's spoken and unspoken confessions sink onto her, let it all into her veins, and bleed. Sakhmet could take her then, pour some sugar on her and gorge on her, and that would be it, a mirror reflection disappearing, or not disappearing as much as being assembled back into a single image - the wicked girl, the feral divine. Instead she lets the weight of Sakhmet's body press her into the sheets, and now Sakhmet is holding her wrists with her fingers, not delicately at all, and Laura thinks: _haven't we done this before?_

(Of course they have.)

They are lying on the bed still, Sakhmet's fists an efficient prison, bodies expectant, nervous. 

"What do you want me to do?" Sakhmet asks. Sex is one of the rare topics allowed, no censorship necessary.

If Laura asked Sakhmet about the most horrible thing Sakhmet has ever done, sex with Laura while Laura was with Baal, or sex with Laura, or sex, would not come up, would not even warrant consideration in this category. Sakhmet would smile and not answer and that would be that. Or at least Laura's heartbeat would quicken, while Sakhmet is looking at her and not answering, something tender for a moment in the feral eyes, that Laura feels like she could easily mirror - both the feral and the tender part.

"What do you want, Laura?" Sakhmet drags her teeth against Laura's veins, blood pumping, reflections shattering.

("Eat me."

"Kiss me." 

"Make me forget my name."

"Make me forget I ever had a name, that there was anything other than an instinct, a wild beast in my body, something that does not feel emptiness, but feels life and blood.")

Sakhmet licks a tear off Laura's face, but she doesn't ask the question again. Laura flips them on the bed, on top now, and licks a trace of dry blood off Sakhmet's face. Laura doesn't answer the question.

Sakhmet says:

"Eat me."

Laura says: 

"Kiss me."

Sakhmet says, and Laura says: 

"Make me forget my name."

_but haven't we done this before?_

One of them is twisting her fingers around the other's wrists. One of them flips them over. One of them licks, and the other one licks. Lungs let a breath out, teeth bite, and a mirror reflects.

_this is different than you, how exactly?_


End file.
